The Mad House

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Heyyy.
So, last night I had the best and worst dream of my life.
It was weird, 'cause we'd moved to some beach and we lived right on it.
My dad was driving me somewhere, and we stopped at someone's house, and this part makes no sense. Vince walks up to me, and somehow I know it's him, just instantly, and he knows its me. I run at him and hug him really hard, and we start walking. We stop at this little garden, with one of those two person hanging swings. We sit down and talk for like half an hour, before we get up and we're just kind of randomly dancing and swirling and talking and laughing. We're going back, and we're walking down these steps, and he puts his arm around my waist and I lay my head on his shoulder and it's so sweet. That was my favorite part, actually, cause I could feel it and it was just perfect. So we get in my dads car, and we're holding hands. When we get back to my house, we're sitting out on my back porch, which overlooks the ocean, but there are a few trees and plants in my backyard and some grass. Then there are wooden steps that lead down to the sand.
So we're talking, and he kisses me, and tells me he's moving there. I start crying, cause I'm so happy, and he just holds me for a little while. Then he says he has to go, and then I wake up.
It made me miss him so much, and I cried so hard, for hours. I didn't go downstairs until 1, and I'd woken up at 8. It was so amazing, but so horrible. I wish he was here, so badly.

But, that can't happen, so, in other news. x_x
Highschool's pretty fun. I have creative writing, then honors english, then healthful living, then math. I hate my third class, and dislike my fourth, though I sit next to a cute guy who's really nice [at least to me]. He got pantsed on Friday, undies and all o_o I saw nothing. Thank God.
I have fourth lunch, wish I didn't. My friends all have new friends and there's no room for me at the lunch table, so I end up sitting alone and feeling stupid and like an outcast.
I have this half-diet, half-fasting plan thing. I'm eating salad for dinner, and nothing else throughout the day. I hate eating at school, cause for some reason eating at all makes me guilty and I feel like everyone's staring at me. So, not lunch. No time in the morning. Maybe after school? I dunno. If you saw me, you'd know there's no room for anything but improvement. So, it couldn't hurt. Gonna test it this week, after I get better. I have a cold :c A really bad, annoying one. Apparently a lot of people at my school have been getting sick, including my best friend whom I hugged many times. I think I got it from her. It's been horrible, I've gone through four bags of ice and two boxes of tissues. I'm freezing, and I wanna wrap myself in a blanket, but I feel so hot and irritated. Especially where my hair comes down.
There's a cute little game I've been playing, called Transformice.
www.transformice.com/en <----Gotta add the en if you want it in English.
Band of the week: Hey Monday
Sad, cause I didn't go to see them at Warped tour when I was there. I didn't know about them then. I've been listening to them for like, three days, and I already love them. The girl was singing Skyway Avenue with the guy from We The Kings when we saw them, so I saw a little, I guess.
Tired, so I'ma go. I'm afraid to sleep, knowing what happened last night. If it happens again I'm just gonna die.
Night. <3

So, having a bad day. :[ Went uptown with my friends, that was fun. Amelia and I were looking at this hoard of like, 20 butterflies, and everyone else continued on. So then we went up to Devant field, and I just sat on the hillside trying to text and call them to find out where they were. Of course they answered when Amelia called, but I was ignored.
So, since they obviously didn't wanna talk to me, I got up and walked off, and ended up somewhere down the road. Didn't know where I was. I sat there for like, 15 to 20 minutes, cause I got dizzy and didn't wanna walk anymore. Amelia finally called me and asked me where I was, and we agreed to meet at a stage thing thats near a trail. So everyone got there, after like 10 minutes. My day was pretty much ruined by then cause I'd been thinking about things.
I'm really annoyed with my life.
Most of my friends are dating people now, and it's wierd cause it's this giant flaming constant reminder that I don't have anyone like that.
I just wish someone would ask me if I'm okay and care about the answer. It seems like when people start dating, their boyfriend or girlfriend are all they care about. I'm not gonna go all jealous-crazy and try to break everyone up, though. I'm happy for them, I am. I just feel all lonely and stuff. :[
And now I'm really emotional and stupid. My dad asked me to clean up some water and I just randomly starting sobbing. Ughh. Now my face is all red and I feel even worse than I did before.
I HATE GUYS.
Ughh again.
Oh, and I looked totally stupid today. I was wearing a skirt over my shorts, and when I got there Amelia was all, "Whats with the skirt?" and I was like, "Well, I thought it was cute. D:" and she was all "..." so, ehh.
You know what I want? The State Farm commercial guy. "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is THERE! With a hot guy. Who's also sensitive!" I don't like Dark Side, he's wierd looking. But Hot and Sensitive? Oh yes.
So, new episode of Secret Life of the American Teenager and Huge tonight.
I've been eating mac and cheese like a madwoman, cause I eat when I'm upset.
So, new episode of Secret Life of the American Teenager and Huge tonight. Gonna go watch 'em.

Hellooo.
So, I'm the only single one among my friends now, other than Amelia. And she thinks I'll end up with someone creepy. :[
But anyway.
Went uptown with Devin, Andrea, Amelia, Kim, Mario, Brooke, and Stephen. Kim and Mario left us like, five minutes after I got there, and we ditched Brooke and Stephen. Mostly 'cause of Stephen :P
So then it was me, Amelia, Devin and Andrea. Then Devin and Andrea ran, and Amelia followed them, and I was stuck with Stephen who was following me and kind of being creepy. Ehhh.
Had fun, though.
Really excited about school starting :] Cute guy near my locker, hurrah! His name's Brandon :P
Annoyed though, cause I can't download AIM to talk to Eimmur on the laptop D: Cause everyone's getting one, just $50 for insurance and stuff. And she nolonger has a Facebook, which they stupidly let us use.
And my bus is one hour late. So, every day after school, I get to sit there for an hour and do homework. Lots of my friends are riding my bus, though, so that's nice. I'm leaving school ten minutes after I used to get home. So I'll probably be home really late. D; Havierre's doing cross country so I can't talk to him, Kim's probably not riding the bus, I don't think Amelia has my bus, and I don't really talk to Logan or Hailey alone. Dunno, we're just not that close. I'll have Andrea, though. All I have to do is mention mustaches, peanut butter, or sandwich folding to make her laugh. So that should be interesting xD
I haven't seen my Eimmurloo in quite a while :c I miss herrrr.
You know, I just realized how my two nicknames I've gotten from her are totally opposites. Jeezus and The Supreme Goat Lord. xD Kim says Supreme Goat Lord sounds satanic. And Jeezus is just obvious.
Lol.
I think one of my friends is ignoring me :c A good one, too. Ehh.

I'ma bored.
Ohh, I'm working on a song :> For the talent show. I'm starting waaay early, since it's somewhere in January or February. But all I have are the lyrics and the tune. It's one of the only songs that stays exactly the same every time I sing it. All of the other ones, the notes change and the tune changes. This one's a love song, though I don't know why 'cause I have no one to write a love song about. Gonna sing it to Kim and see what she thinks of it. Not in a creepy, I'm-singing-you-a-love-song-cause-I-love-you way, just to get her opinion. Here's my chorus:

You’re lifting me so high that I can’t breathe
Take away my oxygen
You are all I need
And I can see
How it would hurt so much to fall
From this pedestal I’m on
When I’m with you

It's short, but it's a slow song so it's not gonna be like two minutes xP I need music for it. But I don't know anyone that could help with that... I'm thinking piano, definitely, possibly violins, maybe a guitar. Acoustic. Dunno. Usually I can tell what the music would be like, but with this one I don't know how.
I've discovered my voice sounds best after eating peanutbutter and honey :P Melted and mixed. Yum <3 My voice changes after I drink or eat certain things o.O Like lemonade turns my voice to crap.
I'm gonna go work on this, maybe figure out what to do with it. I really don't wanna sing it acapella, but I might have to. D;
Tata!

Holaaa!
Kinda bored now. :P Listening to The Veronicas <3 I've been meaning to make a list of awesome songs. Just because people should listen to them.
1. Goodnight Moon- Go Radio [BEAUTIFUL song!]
2. Why I'm Home- Go Radio [Another beautiful song]
3. Hurricane- 30 Seconds To Mars
4. This Is War- 30 Seconds To Mars
5. Hook Me Up- The Veronicas
6. Revenge Is Sweeter Than You Ever Were- The Veronicas
7. Brick By Boring Brick- Paramore
8. Jamie All Over- Mayday Parade
9. Do Not Disturb- Lets Get It
10. Unfold- Marie Digby [As far as I know, not many people know about her. She has a beautiful voice, and this is a really pretty song. :3]

That's all I can think of for now, and ten's a good number :P So.
I've been messing around with makeup, eyeliner and whatnot. I look so different! o_o
Thinking about cutting my hair. I love it long, and I always wanted long hair when I was little, but I dunno. I'm thinking somewhere like an inch or two past my shoulders, lots of layers and possibly highlights. Keeping my bangs, of course.
Right now my hair is reddish brown, bangs that sweep to the left, and it's like, a little more than halfway down my upper arm. If that makes sense? It curls naturally, but not a lot. Kind of a wavyish curly. But I straighten it, cause I can't stand it. Which annoys me, cause it's making my hair less soft. I've always loved how silky my hair is xP
Anyway. Dunno if I should mess with it, though. Nobody cares about my hair xD
Ahh... Trying to think if there's anything else.
Oh. Freshman orientation's Thursday, not Friday :P Blonde moment. I will always be naturally blonde, nomatter what color I dye my hair. So, tomorrow! Exciteeeed! I can't wait for my schedule. If don't have any classes with my friends, and I end up alone, I'ma hurt somebody. >.> Oohhh, I really hope I got creative writing. x.x
My sort of dream is to become an author. My first book is going to be poetry, since it's easier for me to write. Second will either be a romance or a horror. I can't do comedy, I'm not funny xD But I am somewhat of a hopeless romantic. :P And I'll always have a love for horror <3 I write such morbid things, though. But I love it x] Murder fascinates me. Just the interesting ones, though.
OOOH. I just took a shower [Yeah, like a day passed since I wrote the first part of this xD It was somewhere between 1 and 3 A.M.] and I found this AMAZING conditioner! It was a tiny bottle, like from a hotel. We ran out so I grabbed it from our endless drawer of hotel shampoos :P It smells like, like those red candies do, that are kind of spicy tasting? Like, hot? IT WAS AMAZING. Cinnamon-y, almost. But like cinnamon-y flavored things, not cinnamon itself. But now I'm sad cause it was a tiny bottle and I have no more D: I WANT ET. I need to find it somewhere... I saved the bottle xD
Oh. I'm sad now. :c Cause when I went to Warped, I was wearing a tank top and a shirt that was a tank top. I was wearing eight straps that day, cause my tank top has two on each side. They're imprinted in my back. I got sunburnt, and I figured that was the end of it, that when my sunburn was gone it would go away.
But no.
When I sunburned, I also tanned a little bit. So now the stripes are forever in my skin. It's a big X on my back, since I safety pinned my straps cause they were slipping and annoying me. e.e Atleast it's better than normal strap stripes. D: But still. Ughh. It's kind of cool looking, though xP
Orientation's TOMORROWWWWW!
Sidetracked! :D I was gonna write about orientation. But now I'm not ^^
Listening to King of Anything by Sara Barielles. Lovely song. :] The music video's wierd, though. But I LOVE her white dress! And she's so much more bubbly and pretty and dance-y when she's wearing it. Then again, tutu's just do that to you. You wanna dance and you feel all princessy. :3 As Eimmur would say, you get all "IT'S QUEEN, BETCH!" xD Lol, memories...
Anyhoooooooo. Back to zhe FROOSHMEN. <--- I'm quite hyper.
OhmyGoood. I'm nervous about my schedule! I really hope I have lunch with my friends D: My friend wants to meet new people, and I'm pretty terrified of them. I want atleast one person I know in every class, so that I have someone to sit next to. It's just comforting knowing your not alone. Atleast to me it is, I dunno about other people. Cause my friend's all, "Eh, I don't really care about anything but lunch. I'm gonna meet tons of new people! :D" While I'm like, "OHCRAP. RUNNNN." Cause I can be quite shy. If you know me, you prolly just laughed and went, "PAH! Lies!" But I am, in front of people I don't know, and adults. I get all quiet and awkward e.e In front of my friends I'm bubbly and hyper and clumsy and stupid and annoying. :P
But there are things I'm looking forward to. Like the guys. And seeing my friends everyday. And the laptops.
But hey, lets face it, mostly the guys xD
My friend's always annoyed with me cause according to her I'm guy scouting 24/7 :P
Ohh, and I got a journal. :P Mainly for blogging on the go. I don't know why, but my little blog's important to me. I don't care if anyone reads it, it's more for me than anyone else. I just like to talk. xD And there are things I can't really tell people. And they go here :> Or atleast, they used to. My last blog had EVERYTHING in it. What I thought of people, what they did, who I liked, etc. Not like just a whole thing of me talking about people, but it had some opinions in it that I wouldn't want anyone I knew to know. Now a few people I know read my blog, so I can't really put it in here. Not that I don't trust those people, cause I totally do. They're my closest friends, and they're the ones I can trust with pretty much anything. There are three of them, I believe :P I gave my other friend the link, but she hasn't looked at it yet. And I think all three have pretty much dropped my blog. But that's fine ^^ I always end up telling two of them pretty much whatever's in here, and I don't talk to the third much, but we're good friends. At least, I think we are? I hope so o.o;
Eimmur knows everything before anyone else does, though. Cause I talk to her the most out of anyone I know, even though I never see her anymore. Tear. ;[ She's my girlfrannn. We got pregnant together, and had miscarriages together, and talked about her manly feet when it got quiet together, and I helped her through her lollipop problem that she doesn't remember, and she's QUEEN, betch xD Ohh, I love her, Lol.
Kim-A-Kwee is the one I talk to about girl stuff, and guys xD Unless they're Asian, that's Eimmurs department. Cause Asian guys are HOT.
But anyway.
Kim and I stay up for hours talking whenever we have sleepovers x] Cause she's my soulmate xP
Kim's my soulmate, Emma's my girlfriend, and Andrea's my wife. We adopted Amelia, who is married to Devin, who is married to Kim. Devin's dating Andrea [The only REAL relationship in this xD], and Tanner is Devin and Amelia's child. Joseph's the wierd uncle, and Kim adopted Makayla, I adopted India, and I declared Matias as my long lost brother even though he wanted no part in this. Brooke and Kodie decided to marry eachother, and then Andrea got married to Tanner. So she's cheating on me with Tanner, and my own son. Who's cheating on HER with both our daughters. Lol. Our family is really screwed up :D
But I love mah wifey. And my girlfrann, and my soulmate xD This started because we did a president thing, where we chose a president or a first lady and wrote a speech that they may have given, but didn't. I was Abe Lincoln [I know, I know. It was the only book I had and I was out of time :c], and Andrea was Mrs. Lincoln xD So we were married. Amelia and Devin were Mister and Misses Adams, with Tanner as their son. The rest of it formed when we adopted Amelia, and Devin became our son in law and Tanner became our grandson. Then Devin married Kim somehow, and she also became my soulmate, and Emma was always my girlfriend, long before this. Joseph added himself as the wierd uncle, though nobody knows who's uncle he is. xD Then Kim adopted and I adopted and I forced Matias into it. Brooke, Kodie, and Tanner marrying Andrea happened when people atempted to make a new one, though it failed. Lol, I just realized Andrea married our grandson.
I'm thirsty. D: I shall be right back. Even though you wouldn't know I was gone if I didn't tell you. So HA. RANDOM HA.
I'm baaack! I found my tiny mug, too! :D I love ittt. It's black and green and TINY! It doesn't hold much, so I'm always going back for more, but it's so cute! :3 I thought I'd lost it. D: It comes with a little green spoon <3 Cuuute.
Ohh, and I have a doughnut peach! Quite possibly my favorite food. Ooh, I love how the Q's look on this. They look all fancy :3
Oh, I was looking through my yearbook last night, and a certain girl that I kind of hate, and kind of like, signed it "Blah blah blah, ---- [A.K.A. Rain]
Like, wtf? I'm not gonna start calling you Rain just cause you want a cooler name! And atleast spell it the cool way! D: Either Raine or Rayne. Nothing against people with the name Rain, it's a pretty cool name :]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR7-AUmiNcA&feature=PlayList&p=D57A6210BAD4596B&index=2
Love that! Reminds me of myself, especially the beginning. What I WANT to say, but never would. My mind can be quite sarcastic and mean >.>; But I come off as nice to most people :P It takes a LOT to make me angry. And even if you succeed, I forgive people really quickly. But I can be a total bitch if I wanna be. Most people never see it. Only when you really offend me. Havierre's seen it, like once, when he insulted my hot pink tutu xD Which, looking back on it, doesn't seem very unreasonable. But at the time I was in love with that tutu. >.>; I don't think Kim's ever seen it. Eimmur has. I went through this phase of total anger e.e; No smilies, so LOL's, nothing. Like every time we talked I was just grrr. That lasted like, two weeks. Not cause we were fighting or anything, but just cause I was in a bad mood. I think that was one of the times when Vince had just left again. Oh, we're broken up again. Er, mostly, I think. Dunno if I told you all that we were back together? We were. Cause he was all, "I miss you ];" And I was all, "Aww! D: I miss you too." And then he was all, "...Why'd you break up with me?" And I was all, "I dunno, things were just... Different." And then he was all, "Well, do you wanna try again?" And then I was like, "Kinda. I mean, I really care about you, but, I dunno."
And there was more, but that was pretty much it. Summary, of course. I didn't save the conversation. :P I have one, though xD It was pretty hilarious. About my goat babies ;] I don't know if I've told you that story.
Somehow I gained the name Supreme Goat Lord. That's what Eimmur called me xP That or Jeezus. It's in here, so just read this xD

Vinny is available 11:24 pm
::Dejame llorar:: 3h and 6m ago Comment
Sydney 11:24 pm
(11:24:12 PM): Hi Vinny. ^^
Vinny 11:24 pm
(11:24:44 PM): Hey Syd.
Sydney 11:25 pm
(11:25:24 PM): How're you? :3 I haven't talked to you in forever! D:
Vinny 11:26 pm
(11:26:30 PM): I'm Fine I Guess. And I Know. Missed You Alot. <33
Sydney 11:28 pm
(11:28:03 PM): I missed you tooo! :c I didn't wanna bug you, but my friend and I somehow started talking about you and goat babies... o.o; So I wanted to talk to you. <3
Vinny 11:29 pm
(11:29:10 PM): LMFAO. Talking About Me? But Syd. You Dont Ever Bug Me. >.> And You never Talk To Me When I'm On. D: And LOLOL@ Goat Babies. <3
Sydney 11:34 pm
(11:34:25 PM): Yus. :P It started out with me being the Supreme Goat Lord, and then she said I should be a goat for Halloween. Then she was gonna be the goat butt so that she could kick people with our awesome goatly legs. :P But I could only find one person goat costumes, and she'd be blind. D: Then I found a picture of a guy with goat horns and I was like, "BAHA. Goat maaan!" and she was all, "Psh. He's ugly. D;" And so I was all, "Nuh uh!" then I found a picture of a toddler in a goat costume and I was like, "You know what, you're right. THIS is one sexy goat!" and then she laughed and I was like, "Yay my toddler goats make you laugh. :D BUT IT'S NOT MINE." and she was like, "Psh kay I didn't think Vinny was a goat anyway xP" and then we got into how I would explain to my dad how I got pregnant with goat babies. So yeah. xP And I'm sorry! :c I don't wanna annoy you, and I figured if you wanted to talk to me you'd message me. D;
Vinny 11:36 pm
(11:36:46 PM): LOLOLOL. Glad She Didnt Think I Was A Goat. xD And Its Fine Love. I've Just been Worried About Some Stuff. And..I'm Glad Your Doing Okay. But Anytime You Message Me. I'll Reply. You Never Annoy Me.
ZeBellieFairy 11:41 pm
(11:41:20 PM): Aw. Well, I hope you're okay and all. :c Don't stress yourself out too much. D: And mmkay. <3 I'm glad. :3 My goat banter would bug the heck outta most people. xP Ily. <3
Vinny (OnlyVin) is available 11:43 pm
::Dejame llorar:: 3h and 25m ago Comment
Vinny 11:43 pm
(11:43:19 PM): Bad Connection o-o
Sydney 11:43 pm
(11:43:37 PM): Don't worry about it, my internet fails on me all the time. x3
Vinny 11:43 pm
(11:43:46 PM): Anyways. I love You.O: Oh Hows Your Mom And Stuff @-@ Hope She's Doing Fine.

Then there's some personal stuff, and some random talk about my mom. :P Aaaand it picks back up here, after an issue e.e:

Sydney 12:36 am
(12:36:06 AM): But I want to help you. :c Any problem of yours is a problem of mine, as cheesy as that may sound. And good, I would die without my goat man. <3
Vinny 12:37 am
(12:37:22 AM): xDD Even If It's Cheesy, I Still Love It When You Say Things Like That. o.o So I'm A Goat man Now xDD <333 I'll be fine. I'll Go To The Police..And It'll All Be Okay
Sydney 12:42 am
(12:42:41 AM): Aww. x3 I'm glad <3 Yes you're a goat man :P You can be the Supreme Goat Lord and I'll be the Supreme Goat Queen. xP And mmkay. <3 As long as you're okay.
Vinny (OnlyVin) is available 12:42 am
::Dejame llorar:: 4h and 25m ago Comment
Vinny 12:43 am
(12:43:40 AM): xDD Can We Have Goat Babies? o.o <33 xDD . And I'll Be Fine.
Sydney 12:48 am
(12:48:02 AM): Yes. xD Our goat babies would be adorable. <33 xP They'd look just like you. ^^ Or as close as a goat can get to you. =P
Vinny 12:48 am
(12:48:51 AM): xDDDD LMFAO. I Bet They Will<55 I Mean..The Mom Is Goregeous..<3
Sydney 12:50 am
(12:50:48 AM): Aw. <3 You're so sweet. But, I don't think a blondish yellow goat would be so pretty xD
Vinny 1:03 am
(1:03:49 AM): LMFAO.. xDDD I think It Would. ANd ..What About If They Come Half Human?
Sydney 1:05 am
(1:05:44 AM): xD That'd be... Interesting :P They'd be all furry and they'd have hooves xP And horns. Poor goat babies, we'd have to homeschool them or something. x3
Vinny 1:08 am
(1:08:09 AM): LOLOL. Yeah C: They'll be So Cute. And And We Get To Teach them And Stuff.. And They'll Be So FLuffy..And @-@ God I Wanna Hold On
(1:08:13 AM): one*
Sydney 1:15 am
(1:15:18 AM): xD They would be. :3 And that'd be fun xD "Billy, go do your homework! Mommy and daddy are busy. >.>" "...Dad, why are you on top of mom?" Andand we have goats heeere! :D At this kiddie amusement park. xP Exploding goats, or alteast that's what my dad calls them. If you scare them they faint o.o
Vinny 1:17 am
(1:17:15 AM): LMFAO@ "...Dad, why are you on top of mom?" xDDD <3 I Guess Being ontop Is Nice XD I Didnt Know That..They'll Faint? xDD
Vinny is available 1:18 am
Sydney&Vin's Goat Babies<3 ]"...Dad, why are you on top of mom?" 3s ago Comment
Sydney 1:21 am
(1:21:12 AM): xD Yus. Otherwise it'll look like I'm trying to rape you or something. No rape infront of the goat babies. :P And they do! It's wierd. They get all stiff and their legs lock up and they fall over o.o But it's funny xP
Vinny 1:22 am
(1:22:58 AM): LOLOLOL! I Wanna scare A Goat. o.o I'd Laugh xD. >.> YouCanRapeMeAnytime. Doesnt Have To be You Know <33
Sydney 1:24 am
(1:24:36 AM): xD Ok, I'll keep that in mind. :P Not in front of the goat babies, though. That would scar them for life. D: And it's fun xD They're just like THUMP. No more goat. x3
Vinny 1:26 am
(1:26:57 AM): XDDD True..Cause If We Scare Them.. We'll Have To Make More. xDDD
Sydney 1:29 am
(1:29:01 AM): xD Yup. x3 But, we'd already kind of be working on that, wouldn't we? :P


WE JOKE, PEOPLE. WE JOKE. No rape. xD But yeahh. See why I miss the way it was? It was so fun x_x I just thought that convo was hilarious so I saved it. xP He could be so sweet. D:
I'ma go now, I have orientation in the morning, in like seven or eight hours. Not that I'ma sleep, but... xP

Toodles!
:] <3

Hellooo. So, I haven't been updating my blog lately. Go back and read the last three posts so that you're caught up. :P

Went skating yesterday, it was a lot of fun. There was a creepy dude that was staring at my friend, then he talked to me and bumped into me. o.o But he didn't bug us after that.
I spent the night at Kim's house the night before, so my dad came and picked us up to take us. We had some reeeally hilarious moments xD We were the first ones at the skating rink, but my friends were outside so I waited near the door while Kim was trying to re-learn skating. And believe me, it was HARD! I hadn't skated in years, and I used to be good at it. I could barely walk at first. By the end I was okay, though. :P
But anyway, I was standing at the door and these two girls walked up to me and said I was pretty and asked me if I wanted to skate with them. o.o So I said yes, cause I'll skate with anyone under 20 that says I'm pretty. xP I fell on my butt xD They helped me, though, and we went around like twice before my friends got there. They dropped me off at the door, and they didn't talk to me the rest of the night.
So we just randomly skated and talked and stuff.
We saw Inception on Thursday, which was pretty good. We went to CiCi's before that and talked and whatnot. :P Sometime either earlier that week or the week before we went to Bo's, which was REALLY fun. Everyone was all happy and we played air hockey tons and laser tag. We did two games of bowling, too. I talked to my friend Tanner, who I hadn't seen in over a month. I missed him. D; He needs to go places with us more often.
I'm kind of annoyed right now. Apparently since I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm not going on dates, there's something wrong with me. My mothers exact words. And she thinks I need to be fixed. With therapy.
WHAT. THE. HELL.
I don't curse much, but that deserved it.

Anyway.
I went shopping with my grandmother on Friday, which wasn't much fun, but I got a lot of stuff. We spent $400, from Hot Topic to Wet Seal to Buckle to Kohls, and much more :P

Freshman orientation's on Friday, WAY excited about that! I can't wait for my schedule. Really nervous that I won't have any classes with my friends, though. I don't wanna be alone! D: But I am excited about meeting my teachers and whatnot.

So, I'ma go now. Watching The Librarian :P Todaloo!

Happy Saturday. <3 :]
So, Maryland is a no-go. Which saddens me :c But there’ll always be another one.
I’m in Atlanta, have been for two days. I’ve done pretty much nothing. It was a part of the plan to let my parents let me go to Maryland, but that failed. I had this really big, elaborate, week long plan all set out in my head. I was proud of it, too. It would make me feel like crap after it was over, but some of the things I was going to say in my little speech were true. But still. The guilt card works both ways. I know just how to push my moms buttons in a way to get what I want, same with my dad. I have to use seperate tactics, as my dad’s a lot harder than my mom is. My mom is the emotional one, and therefore you use emotions to get to her. My dad is the logical one, and so you have to reason with him with logic. I can be quite manipulative if I want to.
Most people think there’s not much to me, that I’m some brainless hyperactive girl who dresses weird on occasion. I seem pretty harmless. I like it that way, too. People are more careless around me and aren’t as defensive as they should be.
A random peek into the mind of the blogger. :]
Read the second Generation Dead book, loved it. Pheobe’s an idiot, though. TOMMY. Dur. Now I’m reading a book called Remember Me, by Christopher Pike. Good so far, only a few pages in. I’m multi-tasking. And being forced to listen to Lady Gaga. DJ likes to work to the radio, so I had to turn it on and it’s in my room. Er, the family room. But it’s where my cot is. Getting my headphones in a minute, I finally found them.
Going over to my half-brother and my sister in laws house tomorrow. I love them, especially Ali, she’s awesome. They have so many hilarious stories, and she’s just so funny. Ali blows glass, a newfound hobby, and Russell’s in a heavy metal band. I don’t know which one he’s in now… There was Stranger by Day and Drag the Waters before. Don’t know what he’s in now. But they hung out with Slipknot last year! Ali and Russell did, anyway. Apparently they go to tons of concerts. I wish I could see them more often, they live seven hours away. :[ But hopefully they’ll come up for a holiday this year. My other half-brother’s a hermit, and hates everyone apparently. Haven’t seen him since a wedding, either his or Russell’s. I think it was Russell’s. I don’t think I went to Danny’s. Oh well, they’re awesome. :P
Annoyed, cause I left all of my face powder concealer crap, whatever it is, in North Carolina. I have everything else though. I’ve started wearing eyeliner, never did before. And I dyed my hair red. :P I like it, nobody that’s seen it in person has really commented on it, which annoys me, cause that makes me think it looks bad and people don’t want to offend me. Ughh.
I feel like I’m avoiding everyone, but I’m really not. I haven’t talked to Emma in about two days, which is odd cause she’s pretty much my best friend. She’s the only one I talk to on a daily basis, for hours at a time, til like 5 or 6 in the morning. Haven’t seen Havierre in a little more than a week. I haven’t seen or talked to Kim in a few days, maybe four or five. Amelia’s in Connecticut. I dunno, I just feel all antisocial. I kind of go from one extreme to the other. During the school year, I barely ever went out with my friends. After school was over, we went out pretty much every day. Now I don’t see them much anymore, again.
Lately I’ve been feeling rather icky. Doing my hair and make up for no reason other than to look pretty. Nobody other than my mirror’s going to see it, anyway.
I’m kind of looking forward to high school now. Before I was terrified of it, and I guess I still am. I’m just tired of this. My life is pretty repetitive right now. Wake up, eat. Get on my laptop. Watch T.V. Talk to Emma. Sleep. Wake up. Go to Atlanta. Paint. Come back. Sleep. Wake up. Eat. Laptop. T.V. Emma. Sleep. I guess I’m just looking for something new. I miss people, and I miss laughing with people that I can see and touch and talk to outloud. I miss the sound of people’s voices. I’m scared of going to High school, but that’s a good thing to me. I want to be scared. I don’t want to be fine with everything that comes my way. Fear is new, and it’s exciting. Acceptance isn’t. Maryland is new and exciting. Atlanta isn’t. I hate boring. But I live boringly.
You know, the book Generation Dead: Kiss of Life has made me think about a lot of things. Second chances, how to take them. Life, death, afterlife, suicide, people, loss. Reactions. I do a lot of what I do for reactions. I like seeing how other people see me, and decoding facial expressions.
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Exactly why I don’t have a boyfriend. Broke up with Vince, by the way. I don’t even know why. It’s just different now than it was before. Before, all he cared about was me. He’d constantly ask me how I was and if I was okay and tell me to be careful. He’d call me Love, like British people do. I adored that. I adored him. He’d tell me he loved me at least three times every time we talked, and I honestly think he meant it. I know we’re young, and young people just think they love but they really don’t, but I think he did love me. Not a lot of people stuck by him when he was in the hospital, and I was pretty much the only one who did. I talked to him every day by email, and the past year or two by AIM. He’d become so attached to me that all you could really describe it as is love.
I don’t really know how I felt about him. Dedicated? I did care about him, a lot. But I don’t know if I loved him. Probably not, it just felt that way. I was just so attached to him. It wasn’t a charity case kind of thing, definitely not. But I don’t think it was a simple little crush, either. I don’t know.
But lately, things have changed. I have more people in my life now, and so does he. He’s been out of the hospital a lot more lately, and he’s been meeting people and making friends. And that’s awesome. But it’s just not the same anymore. He never tells me to be careful anymore, or asks how I am more than once in a conversation. And when he does it’s just out of courtesy. He tells me he loves me once, whenever one of use has to go. “I love you, bye.” He doesn’t call me love anymore, just hun. I don’t know, it’s just different. And I think I’m ready for it to end. He’s been my rock for years, but he’s also been what’s torn me down many times. One time, he tried to kill himself. I was texting him when it happened, and it killed me that I couldn’t stop him. I felt so horrible, like I wasn’t good enough. It drove me crazy. I was sitting in my bedroom for hours, bawling, counting the minutes since the last text message. I tried to talk him out of it. But after a certain message, they just stopped. There wasn’t another one. So I laid there until one in the afternoon the next day, crying and thinking about it. I felt like I just wasn’t important enough. There have been more times like that when he’s been what upset me. But he’s helped me through a lot of things, too. Like when my parents fight, or my brother goes on his rampages. Vince makes me feel safe. But I just think it’s time for it to end. We’re still friends, of course, but it’s even more different now. I know I really hurt him, and I hate it. But it needed to be done. I remember when we first started talking on AIM, and we talked on IMVU, too. We had this friend named Alex. Alex called me Cherry, and Vince called me Button. Lol. I made a yahoo account to talk to Alex, and I couldn’t think of one, so I called it Cherryflavoredbuttons :P Hah. I really miss how it used to be, like that. When everything was careless and fun and there was no drama. Then Alex was all gay for Vince. And then we started dating. Things changed, but they were still okay. Then all of this happened. x.x
Anyway. I don’t talk to people about this stuff, that’s why it all has to go here. It’s gotta go somewhere. :P People think I’m all happy and cheery.
By the way.
I know you all probably think I’m really whiny and whatnot. I’m not, I promise! D: I just usually blog when I’m feeling some kind of emotion really strongly. Either anger or sadness, mostly. Sometimes I’m really happy or excited. But I’m not gonna blog when I’m just content. “Oh, yeah. I’m good. Things are going okay. Uhm… Well, that’s it. Bye?” There’s nothing to it. So, I save it all for when I’m motivated. I promise I’m not this whiny when I’m talking to people. I’m usually pretty cheery :P I’m always happy when you talk to me in person. If I’m texting you or I’m IMing you, I might not be as happy. But usually I am.
So, anyway. Listening to The Kill by 30 Seconds to Mars. Saw the song in a commercial for some “Edge” CD. I liked it, so I YouTube’d it. Oh, anyone else notice YouTube was down for a few minutes a couple of days ago? It was for Emma and I, at least. Wouldn’t let me log in, before it went down. Then the whole site died. e.e; ‘Tis back. But that was scary. When YouTube is dead, you KNOW something’s wrong with the world.
Urgh, I hate this radio! There are NO ‘rock’ stations here. What I listen to isn’t really rock, but I don’t know what else to describe it as. It’s not punk, like Kim says. It’s not screamo anymore, like I used to listen to. It’s not heavy metal. The radio station calls it rock. But it’s not. The odd crap the rest of my friends listen to is rock. According to them, at least. I do like screamo and heavy metal, though. Alesana’s the perfect example. I’ll always love them :P Lately it’ been a song by The Sick Puppies, Three Days Grace, Rise Against, this song by 30 Seconds to Mars, and some random stuff mixed in. But there’s nothing on this darn radio that I like :c Thank God I have this portable wifi hotspot thing. Even though it’s annoyingly slow.
Just like this blog post is annoyingly long. >.>’ I have nothing else to do. I don’t feel like talking to anyone, or getting on AIM. Wolf-Haven, ChickenSmoothie, Facebook, and Woolly-Hooves aren’t very appealing to me right now. I’m addicted to too many games :x I’ll probably end up playing solitaire. I could read, but I don’t feel like it. I don’t know why. I can’t read properly when listening to music, and I don’t want to turn it off. It’s too hot and humid outside. Thank God we don’t have anything to eat, I tend to eat when I’m bored.
I feel weird typing “Thank God”. I say it pretty casually when I’m talking out loud, but typing it makes me think about it. I’m athiest, though my friend swears she could convert me if I would let her talk to me for an hour about Christianity. I’m fine where I am, though my mom hates it and my grandma would have a heart attack if she found out. Anyway, back to the weirdness. I feel wrong saying it, like I have no right. But I’m so used to it, that I don’t usually give it a second thought when I’m saying it. Oh well.
I wish someone would text me. I love getting texts, I don’t know why. Even from people I don’t want to hear from, and I’ve been trying to ignore for like, four months., People who can’t get the freaking message. –Cough, cough-. This guy that’s getting kind of freaky on me. Oh well. He’ll go away if I ignore him long enough, I hope. Anyway. I love getting texts from my FRIENDS. Random strangers are always interesting, though. It kind of creeps me out cause I don’t know how they got my number, but it’s usually a wrong number.
Woot. So now I’m hanging upside down off my cot :P This blog has taken me like, three hours to write. I’ll write some, stop, do something else, then write more. I’m sure I seem totally bipolar or schizophrenic, my mood changes so much.
My hair’s getting quite messy, I’ve been flopping around so much x.x OOOH. I bought a hat! I never wear hats. But my mom screwed up my hair, so I had to get one. It’s like a mobster hat >:3 Black, with a black satin band around it. Like the hats Neal Caffrey wears. Ooh, Neal Caffrey <3 White Collar started Tuesday. Pretty Little Liars was on Tuesday, too! OHMYGOSH. I can’t believe that! The ending! I can’t wait for Tuesday. I thought Emily and Tobi made such a cute couple, too! D: URGHH. Darn him. x.x And Mr. Fitz totally needs to get over it and get back with Aria. I don’t care how old they are. D:<
Blurgh. Still really bored ;o; I shall get on Facebook. Nobody ever messages me, anyway. e.e; Not to talk.
Oh, and I’ma paint my nails. Black, of course. With my little vial of Hot Topic nail polish <3 I love that store so much.
Excited about my shopping spree with my grandma. :] We’re hitting the malls in Charlotte, which obviously have more than our “Mall”. Back to school clothes shopping. <3 The only thing school is good for, other than the people.
Ohkay, nails are painted. Watch me screw them up as I type, because I’m too impatient to let them dry :] My right hand is already dead, since that’s the one I use to paint them and I can do pretty much nothing with my left. I’m jealous of people who can use both, their nails must be perfect. :[
I’ve moved on to This is War by 30 Seconds to Mars. I like et. <3
My foot’s been asleep for like, half an hour. Lol.
See? Before I was all, “Rawr, depressing!” and now I’m all, “HUR HURRR, FEET!”
I tell you whut.
I’m hyper now. <3
There are two sides of me that most people don’t see: My serious side [Fer cereal!], and my uber hyper side. Eimmurloo has seen both :P Kim-A-Kwee has seen both. Most people assume they’ve seen my ultra hyperness, but they have not! I’m just like “NOODLES!” right now. I call my dog Noodles sometimes <3 I don’t know why, her name’s Trixie? o.o; I’m naming my next dog Noodles. :D I love that smiley <3 ;) <--- I felt like using the winky face, since I never do. Hulooo. <3 Ultra long blog! Hurrah! I’ma give you an e-cookie if you read my little novella :P
Weeeeell, I think I’m done. My nails are done, yay! ^^
Todolooo! :D

I’m working on reading Remember Me [Finished that, I’m on to the second book, but I have one that has three books in one so to me it’s still Remember Me]. I stopped reading like fifteen minutes ago. It left me in this really weird mood. Like nothing matters, and it won’t ever matter. It made me think a lot, about religion and after life and death and whatnot. Then my brother comes barging in and kills my inner peace.
Oh well. xD
So, I kind of love my half-brother!
According to him I can get free tickets AND backstage passes to any of the bands concerts on a certain list, since the company he works for provides amps for them or something. Woot, I love him! So, whenever Linkin Park gets back from Europe I’ma hoping. <3 Apparently he and his wife spent time with Slipknot on their tour bus last year. Sweeeet. I don’t listen to them much, but still.
So, I’m excited. Hoping to take Emma to a concert. :3 I REALLY wanted to go to a Forever The Sickest Kids concert [On the list!], but unless someone drives us to Idaho or Texas, it’s a no go. D: Cause then they’ll be in Great Britain. Urghh! Mayday Parade and Hawthorne Heights are on my list, too. I’m gonna check out Coheed and Cambria and Attack! Attack!, cause I’ve heard of them but never listened to their music.
Really loving 30 Seconds To Mars, btw. <3
I spent a few hours at Russell and Ali’s house, my half-brother and his wife. THEY HAVE AMAZING CATS. They’re Ragdoll cats, and they’re the fattest and fluffiest things you’ve ever seen. One peed on my brother, too, so that’s a plus! :D I really really want one now, they’re sooo soft. And it’s like you can barely hold them, their fat and fluff just spreads out all over your lap! You can’t really tell what’s fat and what’s fluff, though. And they have adorable dogs, too <3 Bulldog terrier mixes :] They’re so hyper xD They run around and attack play with eachother, and you can’t hold them cause they’ll be too busy trying to eat your fingers. :P But they’re really cute.
I love their house, too! They have this huuuge flat screen that has like, all of this amazing technology and whatnot and a Playstation 3 thinger mobob, and he controls the TV with a game controller :o It’s epic. Surroundsound, too.
Ali blows glass, so she made me some beads and a pendant :3 One’s green with blue stripes, and one’s blue with silver stripes. The pendant is blue and green mixed, with some random red streaks in there from oxidation or something. She does that for a living, makes beads. The one’s she’s making now have real gold in them, they’re pretty cool looking. She makes them for some company.
We had burgers and mac & cheese, potato salad, and deviled eggs. Ali makes AWESOME deviled eggs. Lane and Russell went down to the pool for like an hour, so I sat with one of the fluffy cats, Baxter, watching Life, with all of the fishes. <3 SUCH A FLUFFY CAT!!
Sorry. I’m excited, incase you can’t tell :P
Gonna go read some more and play with my llamas. <3 Tata! :]

So I know I've abandoned you, my little blog. I write entries and just save them in word. So, I'ma add those now, then put up a recent one. Just figured I'd tell you what's going on. :P