The Mad House

Hey again. So, I can't decide if life sucks right now or if it's okay. Lane's moving out, which is AWESOME. But everything else pretty much sucks. My parents are yelling all the time, Lane's threatening to kill people, and I come home to find my mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm never alone anymore, and I don't get to sing anymore, which makes me sad cause I usually only write when I sing. I don't know why. My laptop's dead, poor Eve. This girl I barely know hates me, and she's such a whore. I hate her, too.
There's a guy I might be going out with soon, but I dunno.
I'm really upset, cause I was with three friends and we were at the mall, and one of them just bought a homecoming dress there [$37 from a place called Souths, they're really nice, but expensive, she got hers on sale] and another friend had one put on layaway [$90, same place] And it kind of bothers me that I don't have that kind of money to just throw around on a whim. My shopping habits would support it, but I don't. And I was SO upset that none of the dresses looked right on me... My friends look good in ANYTHING. And I mean anything. I guess they just don't make nice dresses for fat girls. :/
Then one of my friends seems sad all the time and won't talk to me. I really miss them, too.
I'm thinking of telling a few people something about me that no one knows- I'm tired of hiding it.
Apart from that I've been feeling suicidal lately, and I've been so tempted to start cutting again...
Ugh. I don't know what to do.
Fml.