The Mad House

Heya. :]
Lalala. So, Eclipse was GREAT. Any movie with tons of hot, shirtless werewolves is great. Especially Taylor Lautner. ;] Bella’s an idiot, PICK JACOB. She doesn’t deserve either of them ><
But the movie was awesome. Epic fight scene that would make even Havierre happy :P
I was so excited about it xD I was squealing for like an hour before it started. We got there half an hour early, so we were sitting in the theater for 20. Middle of the front row ;] No tall people to block Jacob’s abs for us, no siree! But Kim would accidentally bump into me with her foot, and I would just burst out laughing, for no reason. It was so fun. XD Half way through the movie, it turned upside down and the audio was backwards. It was HILARIOUS! Everyone in the theater was laughing. They sounded so weird xD It was a good movie, though. Even though NONE of it happened in the book. Not gonna spoil it for you, like I do all of the other movies I watch. :P
I’ve been listening to Breathe Carolina all day. <33 At the moment I’m listening to Velvet. Don’t look it up, Havierre, you’d hate it. But they’re pretty awesome x]
Took like, 79 pictures today xD I can’t find my favorite mascara or lipgloss, though! D: Had to use my backup. :c But they turned out okay ^^
Later in ze day: I now have a rant for you. e.e
I hate it when people want me to tell them every bit and detail of my life, and they get “So concerned” when I’m upset, but then they won’t tell me anything about THEIR lives. So, I’m not allowed to be sad, but you are? And I’M not allowed to not want to talk about it, but YOU are? Even if it’s something small and I’m being overdramatic, people are doing this so much to me now. Everyone wants to know what’s going on with me and what’s going on with Vince and “Why are you upset, Sydney?” Then whenever I try to talk about an actual PROBLEM nobody wants to listen. “That sucks. So, I’m [blah blah blah].” Ughh. I have two problems, neither of which anyone will listen to. And I really need help. But nobody cares. So I get to deal with it.
Ok, sorry. I’m just… Angry. And concerned.
Gonna shut up now.

Hellooo. :P So, today was pretty awesome. Many hilarious moments that don't sound nearly as funny as they were. :P Swing-texting, wallet thieving, etc. x] Oh, and ripping off peoples mustaches. xD
It was lots of fun ^^ 'Cept this creepy dude, who kept telling us to read the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. We saw him once at the park, and just kept walking. Then we saw him by the lake, and he was all, "Hey, I saw you earlier!" and said the same thing. Logan said, "Uh, we read it in school" and he was all, "Forget school, be your own men and women!" And so we kept walking. Then we were at the gazebo thing in the lake, and the dude was just sitting behind a tree, facing the tree. Dunno if he was staring at us or doing something else, I couldn't tell. Needless to say, we left xP Apparently he's been doing that since school got out. Creeepyyyy.
Vince needs to get on AIM, I'm bored. e.e Oooh, I have a pictureee. I haven't actually seen him in like three years, but this does seem like what he'd look like. Tis a picture he has on AIM. :P

I think he's cute x] I dunno what he's doing with his hair o.o
He's officially known as my boyfriend amongst my friends. I was trying to keep it kind of a secret, since I don't know how things are going to turn out this time. But somehow Amelia found out o.O I think Kim knew. I know a-certain-person-who-will-now-be-reffered-to-as-Havierre knew, since he reads my blog. Emma knew since I told her. But that's about all. Now Logan knows, and Amelia found out. I think Daniell knows, cause Kim brought it up and Daniell was nearby and joined the convo. I think that's how Amelia found out, too. But anyway. o.o
Having a Twilight marathon tomorrow! <3 We're gonna watch Twilight, since I have it on DVD, rent New Moon, and then go see Eclipse :] Must stock up on movie snacks. Since the only soda we have is sunkist o_o Anyway, excited about that ^^
Pretty Liars is on tonight ^^ Amelia's started watching it, too x] So atleast I have someone else to talk to about it. We discussed our theories today xP The whole Allison/explosion/Jenna-being-blind thing is our main point of interest. Allison OBVIOUSLY made Jenna blind somehow. Tobi [I don't know how to spell it but I's are cooler than Y's, and some people spell it this way, so TOBI!!] I think is either related to Jenna or was dating her. Allison had something on him so he covered up for the explosion, which I think made Jenna blind. Maybe she was in the house when it happened? It's either Jenna or Tobi acting as "A" in my opinion. And WTF is up with Aria and Mr. Fitz?! I thought he didn't want to do anything with her! Then they start making out in his car in the rain?? Spencer is sooo gonna end up with her sisters ex.
OOH. And why did Tobi help Emily when her boyfriend was about to like, rape her? o_o What was he doing in the girls locker room anyway? That guy confuses me. Oh well. x.x
So, I think that's it ^^ Excited about the 4th of July party :P
Byee. <33

OHMYGOSHI'MBORED!
On Demand hates me and won't let me watch Alice in Wonderland D; I tried to buy it like ten times, watch it show up on my bill xP It was all, "ERROOOOOR!" and we called the person and they said try again tomorrow. D}:< <---'STACHE. I was watching the preview, and I realized that the queen lady, whoever she is, and Johnny Depp were in another movie together :o Sweeney Todd. <33 That's one of my favorites :P My mother refuses to watch it because she hates blood and stuff. I think it's a pretty awesome movie >.>; Oh, and another favorite of mine is Princess Aurora. It makes me cry everytime ;o; Just so you know, it's not some kids movie- it's a Korean movie about this woman who lost her daughter. She was in a car wreck, so her little girl, like 5 or 6, stayed with her sister. The woman left her on the side of the street! D: It was so horrible, cause she was just sitting there, waiting, and then she left and was walking through this tunnel after like an hour and she started crying and she was all, "Mommmmyyy!" and it was so SAD! Her little face... D: Then some evil dude picked her up, raped her, and killed her. Then he left her in a dump. Poor baby! :c So her mom went all crazy and killed everyone involved in it. The guy who she wrecked into, her sister, some other girls mom that was abusive that made her kid sad, some legal people, and some detectives, I think. Then she got put into a mental institution, where she killed the man who killed her daughter, since he was put there, too. It was wierd watching the crazy people react to the blood. o.O But kind of funny.
Anyway, GREAT MOVIE. Even though I cry everytime I watch it/think about it. D: My brother laughed. He LAUGHED at a little girl crying and then being picked up by some creepo. I liked that little girl :c
Anyway, Korean movie, so it's subtitles if you ever watch it, even though I prolly just ruined it up there. Eh, nobody I told about it would watch it with me. e.e It is kind of horrible.
SO.
Driving test thing in two days... Scared as heck about that.
I really wanna go somewhere soon x_x But, I don't like organizing things. I just don't. e.x; I'll text people or call people and invite them, but place picking and time picking I don't like. Cause everyone wants to go somewhere different, or meet later or earlier, and it's just... Bleh. So.
The blackberries will be ripe in a few weeks :3 We have tons of blackberry bushes in our backyard. My mom always makes pie with it, even though I hate pie... My dad likes it.
I want a Corgi. D: Or something like that.
I LOVE dogs with short legs, they're just so cute!! Especially when they walk :P It's just adorable. My Longhaired Chihuahua's legs are fairly short and stubbly, but my Pomeranian's legs are quite long D; Not all fat and short and cute. But she's really fuzzy, so it's okay.
That's why I don't like big dogs. They don't fit in your lap, and their legs aren't SHORT. Sure they're cute and somewhat soft, and they're all giant so you can like hang on them and hug them without squeezing their little bodies to death, but they're just not short enough. D:
So, I guess that's it? Now I wanna watch Sweeney Todd.
Ohhh, and I'm looking forward to the next Percy Jackson movie :DD I hope it comes out soon, dunno the release date. I'm sure I'll see commercials for it sometime.
Seeing Eclipse in three days. NOTHING IN THE COMMERCIALS HAPPENED IN THE BOOKS! That dude that got bitten, and his undead army? They never existed! And apparently Bella gets pregnant in this movie? Wth!! She gets pregnant in Breaking Dawn. I guess poor little Eclipse was just too boring for them. D:<
By the way. TEAM. JACOB. CHOOSE JACOB OR WE WILL EAT YOU. We being all of his rabid fans. In the books, I liked Edward best. But in the movies? Edward sucks. Literally. No pun was intended when I typed it, but it kind of turned into one. :P But anyway. What does Edward DO? Nothing! He doesn't make her laugh, or do anything fun with her. He just whisks her away, out of the danger HE created. He's totally useless. But Jacob is all nice and funny and totally hot, and he makes her laugh, and he spends time with her doing things. Edward's obsessed with her "human experiences", but he's not giving her anything! Yeah, prom's important, but what about actually doing things? Like, Jacob fixed the bikes with her, and went to the movies with her once. What did Edward do? Let her play baseball where some freakish dude became obsessed with her and wanted to kill her. Helped throw a party where his brother tried to eat her. He does nothing but get her injured! Guhhh.
So, anyway. o_o THAT'S it. The ending earlier was a false one. >.>; Went on a tangent. Sorry. :P
So, bye. <33 Thanks for reading :P
Wow, I just re-read that, and I'm REALLY random. o_o From driving to going places to blackberries to corgies... Woww. Well, bye now! xP

First off, Neil Caffrey is everything good in the world.
Watch White Collar. Do it, do it now! Well, not now, July 13th. It's not on again yet >.>
Second, HITLER KITTY!! http://i938.photobucket.com/albums/ad223/Aliniatte/HITLERKITTY.jpg
Steve looked like a pirate when he was going to the store today xD My dad had all of my mom's cash, which is not much cause she usually just uses her credit card. So we went change-hunting cause we were out of milk. I ended up with ten bucks in nickels, pennies, and dimes xD I had like $3 in quarters. I think I found one dollar bill. But he had a little golden drawstring bag that he carried his money in. xD It was funny looking.
Now I'm watching an NCIS marathon <33 More specifically, and ABBY marathon! I love herrr. And she made a Bert the Hippo refference earlier :o I screamed "BERT!" and my mom was all, "HIPPO?!" and I was all, "YESSS!" and she was all, "SHUT UPPPP!".
Ohmy, McGee's a cupcake theif. I NEVER KNEW!
I'm kind of hyper now, since I'm still kind of sleep deprived and I had cocoa crispies and for some reason they make me hyper. <33
My little dog is so adorable. He just lays on his pillow and looks at you with his big eyes :P And he's so sooooft! Trixie, too. <3
I wanted to take Nut out to the park today. Again. >.> Nut's my ferret, btw. Can't remember if I told you all or not? She loooves having people fawn over her xD Cause everyone stops and asks to hold her or see her walk around in her little jogging vest and stuff. It's funny x] People ask ridiculous things. One dude asked if she was a possum, and this little kid, like 4-5 years old, asked if she ate bugs xP
I don't want my brother and my dad to come home x_x I like it without them. My brother just needs to go off to military school or something... My dad works, so we're okay there. Not that I don't love him, I do, he's just annoying sometimes x_x
I'm cold. Dx I've been really hot all day. And my mom's been complaining about some muscle thing, and I refuse to rub this cream on her butt so she gets all offended. "I'm your mother, I GAVE BIRTH TO YOU!!"
LOL. Just had a spaz moment.
There was a york peppermint patties commercial on and my mom was all, "Nobody caaaares!" and I was like, "I do ;o;" but apparently she was all, "I huuuurt!" before that, and I thought she meant the York things. So when I realized what she meant, I was all, "Oooh! Wait, nevermind." And she got all offended. So I was like, "OH WAIT! I mean, I care about you too..."
Lol, she's mad at me now.
Sooo, byee? Nothing else to say. :o

I am going to warn you. This is going to be a very odd blog post.
I have not slept in over 36 hours.
And so, my night begins:
I was in the family room at about 11:30 at night. Steve is sleeping on the couch, since the air conditioning doesn't work upstairs. Nobody is asleep yet. My mom is in here with us. She leaves and goes to bed, and Steve gets tired of Criminal Minds somewhere around 3 AM. My mother came out at 2:30 and told me to go to bed. Did I listen?
No.
At six AM, Steve wakes up. Steve grinds his teeth and snores- but the grinding is the worst. It sounds squeaky, and wierd.
My mom wakes up five minutes later, yelling at me because I didn't sleep, and I'm perched in the same chair she left me in last night, still holding my laptop and sipping caffiene free diet coke.
Then Steve asks her to make pancakes.
And it all goes downhill from there.
She makes pancakes, all right. Six for Steve, Three for me, and Four for herself. Steve ate all of his, though I don't know how. I ate one and a half, and gave the rest to the dogs. My mom at three of hers. She's yelling the whole time about how grumpy I am, and how I'm going to have to wash windows later. I've been laughing since she woke up.
You see, when I'm sleep deprived, I think everything's hilarious. Then I'm really happy. Then I get really angry, and then I get really sad. So I'll laugh at your jokes, compliment you, punch you, and then apologize. The stages can last between five seconds and five hours, but it ALWAYS goes in that order. And somewhere in there, usually after the angry stage and before the sad/guilty stage, I get really affectionate. And so I hug people.
Anyway.
We're all called into my moms room, after much back-and-forthing to get her things. We decided to sell Steve's pictures for bread. Then he went back into the family room, my mom cried, and then yelled at me for laughing. Then I did the crab dance, which is hilarious when you see it. You hold your pointer finger and your thumb together, curl all of your other fingers, and like... if they were mouths, you'd be opening and closing them. Rapidly. Like crabs click their pincers, or whatever they have. Sleep. Deprived.
Then you stand with your shins parallel to eachother, butt on the same level as your knees, like a squat, but spread like a crabs legs. And you move slowly across the room but with rapid movements while clicking your claws. And that is the crab dance.
My mother doesn't laugh, and the crab dance ALWAYS makes her laugh. So Steve comes in and does it, slips, almost dies, and makes my mother laugh so hard she chokes. Then Steve decides to take a bath, my mother calls him a stripper, I try to rhyme and fail horribly [I was attempting to rap], and my dog licks my other dogs eye. Then I leave the room and type my blog.
I have not stopped laughing the entire hour and fifteen minutes. Now and then I giggle, but pretty much.
Oh, and we didn't WANT the pancakes. It was a joke, and we were force fed pancakes.

So, my morning has been pretty interesting. I'll count this as last night's blog post, since I'm sure there'll be more mayhem to come.
By the way, my brother and father are in Atlanta. So we're here alone.
Oh my.

Just got home. Went out with a bunch of friends today, it was pretty fun. Then I get home and it’s ruined, of course. Okay, it was ruined when I got in the car. Lane was there, and he was just being a jerk like he always is. Lane’s my brother, btw. Then I get home and my friend India tells me my friend Emma sent her one of my poems. One of the more personal ones, that I didn’t really want her to share. Wtf? She didn’t even ask. Ughh. So, now I’m mad at her again. And she did it because she thinks there’s something wrong with me! I wrote that a LONG time ago, and I just found it and sent it to her like I did a bunch of others. Yeah, I get depressed- Doesn’t everybody? I guess I do more than most, but it’s not dangerous or anything. I don’t really care- I read or draw or do something and I’m fine. As long as people don’t bother me. There’s only one time when I tried to commit suicide, about a year ago, and that definitely failed. I still have the scar on my wrist, the only one that never went away. It sticks out from my skin and it’s really white, so I never forget. Other than that, I’m fine. I don’t like it when people worry about me, it makes me feel guilty, like I’m not worth worrying about or something and they should stop wasting their time. I guess I’m just as bad as my friend is with the whole self esteem thing. I just don’t like myself.
So. Other stuff:
Talked with Vince last night. He replied an hour after I originally messaged him, but that’s okay.
A LOT of people asked me if I was okay last night… Didn’t know that many people cared. Even people I don’t talk to much. Just cause of my FaceBook status… It was nice talking to some people, though. Others I just wanted to go away. Hah. Oh well. :P Emma and I... I don’t really know whats going on with us. I did some really stupid things last night, though. Ehh, it’ll go away, I hope. So for now I’m okay.
Kind of.
Driving test in five days, kind of nervous about that.
Umm… I guess that’s it? Sorry for all of the angry-ness. I let very few people read my poetry, and I like it that way.

UGHHH. Rant time. So, apparently I don’t talk enough? I find that hard to believe. I never shut up! But since I didn’t tell my friend my grandma needed surgery, VERY MINOR SURGERY FOR A HEART ATTACK SHE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW SHE HAD, I don’t ever tell her things. She’s the only one I ever let read my writing, or my poetry. She’s heard me sing! Nobody else has. She knows every little thing about the guy situation. The guy I like, why I can’t tell him. She’s heard bits and snippets of Vince conversations, she’s heard me gush about him and every other guy I’ve ever liked. She’s helped me through things nobody else ever even knew I went through. Oh, but I don’t ever tell her anything! Nooo.
Blahh.
So, I was going through my files and stuff today, and I found a lot of old poetry. Here’s one, I have absolutely no idea who it’s about. Maybe Vince? Or the guy I like. Dunno.

Overwhelmed by emotion
Thoughts unbearable
Anger, Sadness, Frustration, Betrayal

A glimmer of light, a beacon of hope
A diamond among broken glass
My light in these tunnels I’m lost in

It leads me out
Into a land of nothingness
Where remembering is not an option

A blank mind, a clean slate
Something to start anew
Something I couldn’t have without you

So I guess that’s it. Now I’m just bored and angry… And I have absolutely nothing to do. Nyehh.
Bye. :[

Hellooo. I've been writing/typing all day, my fingers hurt. D: 'Tis just silly little Fanfiction, you don't wanna read it. A friend of my friend's wanted her to write something for a certain pair, and when she mentioned it, it inspired me and I had to do it. I feel dirty for writing it... And no, there is no "stuff" in it that I should be ashamed of. I'd feel like a total nerd if I told you the couple/anime. So, I'm just not going to. xP
By the way. I WANT THESE PANTS. I MUST HAVE THESE PANTS. THEY DON'T SELL THESE PANTS.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSVjRUjtJYJufWP6JZvruYcV-srEBPBAzJjeSakjSX_5cuErQOlkbAaPzTyMIhQ88DSpA0oZyOgGx7VQZO5XNNIM0CuNiCmKh1pqzzM-LUvV0xUf33OybcHosuY_JAZJOqUy-bC78g0no/s1600/glamwillow.jpg
What's wrong with these people?!
http://c0424341.cdn.cloudfiles.rackspacecloud.com/converse-pants-shoes.jpg
I need theeeem! I have pink/black/white converse that go up to my knees, but now that I've seen these I just need more! This would totally complete my high top collection. Ughhh. My bestie says she wouldn't let me wear them... Hah. What I want to do, if I get them, is either have them gray, white, or like normal jeans, and then have red white and blue laces and tie them together for my fourth of july party. I may end up doing that with the ones I have now, though it wouldn't be NEARLY as cool.
Apart from that, I've been listening to this song all day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5XQ7yoosew
Ignore the video, it's the only one I could find with the right version of the song.
It's a lot different than what I usually listen to. I just love it for some reason.
http://i938.photobucket.com/albums/ad223/Aliniatte/Wolf%20Haven/Alinia3.png
I love thisss. Someone drew it for me :] It's my character on this wolf roleplaying site [yes, I roleplay. Bite me.] I just think it's cute :3
Soo, I'm missing Vince. He needs to get his butt on AIM.
My mom's gone, she's with my grandma while she has her surgery.
The cat stopped peeing blood, and Steve's back is better.
My brother's been sleeping over at a friends house.
So, all in all, everything's okay right now. Kind of. Screwed up, but okay. Mostly.
Some stuff going on that I can't talk about. Can't tell anybody about, really. Not even my family/friends. Just the little people in my head. <3 :] Wish I could, but I can't. There's only one person I really wanna tell, anyway- but I think they're the one that would take it the worse. My friends would probably have me committed. Hah.

Jack and Jill. <3
And we all come tumbling after.

Okay, so. I know I just posted today, but, I’m kind of stressed out now.
The ex has returned. Officially. And we’re back together? I don’t really know how that happened.
I wish he would just dissapear. But… When we talk, things are okay, and I wish he was here with me. I wish I’d never had to leave him. But then when we’re NOT talking, I hate it and I don’t want to talk to him. It’s just so hard to care about him. And then he tells me that he loves me. And I honestly don’t know if I can say the same back. I want to, so badly. It’s like I’m another person when I talk to him.
It's just, I can't hug him. I can't cry on his shoulder, or talk to him out loud. I don't get to hear his voice, or hear him laugh. I don't get to joke around with him. I think if he were here, it would be different.
My friend says that I should either work things out with Vince or find someone new. Problem: Nobody else wants me. Why would they? I whine too much, among other things.
So now I’m being all mopey. We were talking, and he said that I could talk to him about anything that was bugging me. The only thing that’s bugging me is this! That, and that I like another guy, so I feel like I’m cheating on him.
Ughh. Good night, my little blog.

Hellooo.
So, my day was pretty good. :]
Went uptown with a bunch of friends. We walked around, at at Franks'N'More, played cops and robbers [which was hilarious cause my me, my best friend, and a good friend of mine were most of the robbers and we got caught within five minutes. My guy friend was the last one out there, the cops eventually gave up. He could see us, but we couldn't see him- they all thought he was at the park. I only knew where he was cause I was texting him. :P] and then I drove Kim home.
I'm finally sending out invitations for our Fourth of July party :] Excited! I like how they came out- the background took me a while to make. I'd post it, but then you'd know my phone number/address. So. That's a no go. :P
I'm ordering a Bert the Farting Hippo! <33 Abby Sciuto on NCIS has one, and I love him. So, I have to have one. He has his own facebook group, website, and everything! :] I'm naming mine Ralph, and getting a custom collar made for him ^^ They do that <33 And they have the traditional BERT collar. And a pink spiked one, which I also want... But I have to work at my dads plant to get Ralph anyway, and ordering that would make me work two days. I get minimum wage, $60 per day. Bert is $45, and the collar I want is $14. My mom said she'd cover shipping and tax. :] So I'm good there- one day, and I get Ralph. Two days and I get a Rue 21 shopping spree, so I'm thinking on it. And I need to save my money for going out with my friends, since my mom usually only gives me $5. But I kind of hate my job, so. Four days and I'll be good, I think. Thats $240. If I work one whole week it's $300, so I might do that. My dad can't let me work full time, though, cause they don't have the money and whatnot. They're helping an employee out with legal issues, child support stuff, so they REALLY don't have the money right now.
Guy situation continues to worsen, but I'm not getting into that.
So now I'm bored.
And I hate feeding these freaking hummingbirds ><
So, todaloo.

La la la la laaaa.... I've been kind of ignoring you, my lovely little blog. :] Even though my world has become more of a mad house than La la land. May end up changing that, if I can.
Most of my week has been dealing with my brothers crap, but I'm not even going to mention all of that cause it makes me feel un-normal.
Soo.
I feel really detached- I haven't been on FaceBook as much, and the only emails I'm sending are wierd ones that I didn't even send about viagra. I had to send out an apology email to everyone and tell them to ignore everything else they get from me.
My ex is still talking to me- don't really know what to think, there. Kind of confused. Hopefully he'll just dissapear again, like he always does.
Of course he won't, since he only leaves when I don't want him to. Whenever I'm finally convinced that he'll stick around.
Just to clarify: His name is Vince. I knew him in Atlanta. He was a good friend, so we exchanged emails and phone numbers and what not and we've kept up with eachother. He fell out of a window a few weeks after I left, and he hit the ground on his back. It messed something up, I don't really know what, but he's been in the hospital a lot since then.
On to happier news... Finished Shiver- waiting for the next book, Linger, in July. It was great, all the way through <33
Just finished watching Pretty Little Liars. This is probably going to be the first series that I actually follow... It's really good so far. And they have great music. I've been googling lyrics all the way through the show- I was on the last one, too.
Taking the written drivers test thing on the 29th. Acckkk! Afraid of that- only one kid passed when my brother took, it, and that's cause his parents made him take tests online the whole summer and stuff.
Day after that Eclipse comes out. My mom promised she'd take me to see it- not likely, though. She never does anything with me. Something'll come up with Lane, or she'll be too tired. That's just how it is. Hopefully I'll see it eventually. From the commercial, this is NOTHING like the book. That guy that got bitten? He never existed. But it'll be interesting to see what they've come up with, atleast.
So I'ma go now. I know this was kind of short, but I don't have much to talk about. At least not much that I CAN talk about.
Ta ta. <3

It’s 5 A.M., and I can’t sleep. This is just gonna count as last nights blog post, kay? I had one for the day before, but it’s really depressing and stuff so I’m not gonna post it. It’ll just sit in Word.
Stuff that happened:
-We painted two rooms in the house in Atlanta. It was kind of annoying, since we’re all horrible at it and kept getting paint on the woodwork. But we got it done.
-I got three new books. I’ve finished one, “Stake That!” Second book in the Boys That Bite series. It’s really good, I’m hoping to get the next two soon. I didn’t even know there was a second book. Finished that in like, 4 and a half hours. The second book I got is Shiver. REALLY good so far. I’m a little more than half way through; I’ve been reading off and on all day. It’s so sad, but it’s all romantic. It makes me wanna cry, but if I cried I’d have to stop reading. Blahh. So, the third one I got is Kiss of Death. It’s theeeee…. Eighth book in the Glass Houses/Morganville Vampires series. I honestly have no clue if I’ve already read it. The cover was unfamiliar, and the first few pages didn’t ring a bell, so I got it anyway. Pretty much everything I read involves vampires or werewolves. The only thing I can think of that doesn’t is A Mango Shaped Space, my favorite book of all time. It’s about a girl with synesthesia. You should read it if you haven’t, it’s great. Really interesting, too- you learn a lot about what people with synesthesia go through. I had no idea that even existed before I read it. It can be pretty sad at some parts, but overall it’s a great book. Again, my all time favorite. Oh, and Generation Dead doesn’t involve werewolves or Vampires. Just zombies. Kind of. I was looking for the next book in that series, but stupid Borders didn’t have it. Ughh. While I was there, though, I saw one of those end-of-the-bookshelf-things-that-have-things-they-want-you-to-buy-on-it-things. And guess what was on it? SKELANIMALS! I love Skelanimals <33 They’re so cute. Even though they’re dead. My favorite is Elle the Elephant, even though it’s one of the more uncommon ones. I have an Elle necklace. <3
-I came home. Six and a half hour drive from Atlanta to North Carolina, all of it except for like half an hour spent holding a little dog on a pillow. She hates the car, unless she’s on a pillow. If she’s on a pillow, she’s fine. So of course she sat on my lap the whole time. I tried to sleep with her there, but it was kind of hard to get in a comfy position. So my mom took her the last half hour or so, and I half-slept.

So that’s about all that happened today. I’m listening to a really sad song, though I honestly have no idea why, seeing as I’m in kind of a content mood. I’m upset, but I’m not thinking about it so I’m okay. I’m listening to Things Left Unsaid by Disciple. Linkage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Jjti9TxyEY
So, one thing I love about Shiver [Yeah, I’m gonna talk about this for a while- It’s just so awesome.]: The main guy thinks somewhat in song lyrics. Or at least does some of the time. Excerpts from what I’ve read so far:
You’re my change of skin
My summer-winter-fall
I spring to follow you
This loss is beautiful
That one you’d have to read the book to understand. He’s a werewolf that is only human when it’s hot and is only wolf when it’s cold. The girl, Grace, was attacked by his pack when she was young. She was bitten, and usually that means the person bitten turns into a werewolf. For some reason, Grace didn’t. But Sam [the werewolf guy] was waiting for her to change. He was going to take her back to the pack, so that she could get off to an easy start and wouldn’t be lost.
So he watches her from the woods, every day that he can, at night. Only in the winter, of course, when he’s in wolf form. She knows it’s him because of his eyes. Werewolves only keep their eyes when they change- that’s all that stays the same as their human form. Sam’s eyes are gold, with flecks of different hues in them. He was born with them. So she always knows it’s him, but she’s never seen him in human form. She thinks he’s just a wolf. They kind of become obsessed with each other- Him, waiting for her, and her, being protected and watched by him. Grace loves the wolves, or at least most of them. One wolf, Shelby, wants Sam as her mate. She doesn’t really want him, she just wants the power that comes with him. Apparently she had some horrible life as a human and prefers being a wolf. I dunno, I don’t like her. She’s weird. Anyway, she kind of hates Grace. She sees her as competition.
So one day, a boy is killed by the wolves and hunters come out to kill them off. Sam gets shot and turns human for whatever reason, on her porch, so Grace takes him to the hospital. And then tons and tons of romance ensues, and there is SO much sad stuff in there. But it’s a good sad. Like an I-just-wanna-jump-in-the-book-and-hug-them sad.
So, sorry if I just ruined that book for you? That’s just the very beginning, like before page 65. So I’m not TOO horrible.
Anyway, more lyrics:
Peeling off my skin
Leaving just my eyes behind
You see inside my head
Still know that you are mine

There’s another one, but I don’t like it too much. The first one is my favorite, about the seasons.
So Sam’s just kind of perfect, and any girl would turn to putty in his furry paws.
I’m gonna go now, I have a book to read. Took me half an hour to write this.

Bye
<3

Day one of the Atlanta horrors.
Cleaned the woodwork all morning, that wasn’t so bad. Then Lane [my brother] starts yapping about how moving to NC totally ruined his life and it was so perfect here and blah blah blah. In truth, it was worse down here. So he was all, “Well I know I was kind of insane, but still!” and I go, “You’re STILL insane.” And DJ laughed and said he was about to say that, and then my mom starts crying and goes all, “You leave him alone!” So, there’s nothing wrong with him? He didn’t stand outside of my door on Sunday with a crossbow, saying he was going to shoot me with it and kill me because mom loved me more than him? Because SHE was angry with him? And he’s never done that before? Never thrown knives up the balcony at me? Never stabbed my hand? Yeah, right. He’s perfectly fine. Ughh. It just annoys me how she thinks he’s so perfect when he’s into drugs, alcohol, he smokes, he steals, he lies, he threatens people, he’s violent, and a lot more. I don’t do ANY of that. And suddenly I’M the bad kid? Um, no. I make A’s and B’s, one C, and I’m actually passing the eighth grade. He failed, had to stay during the summer a little longer, and my MOM did his civics online. And she says he’s smart and creative. Suuuure.
Poor, poor Lane.
So, I sat there and held my Chihuahua for like half an hour cause I was angry and playing guitar hero on my phone. He’s nice to hug when there’s nobody else in the state that you would even go near.
Then I wanted to take a walk, but was afraid I’d run into somebody I knew. So, I got dressed and put on make-up and did my hair. I was in my empty room, with no mirrors when I was getting dressed- since Lane was in the bathroom and I only really needed that for my hair/make-up. So I walk downstairs, and Lane screams. My dad covers his eyes, and my mom goes, “Oh my GOD, Sydney!!” and I’m like, “…What?” So, she rushes me upstairs, away from the eyes of the guys. Apparently my shirt was see through, and you could see perfectly my hot pink Charlie the unicorn bra. Lovely. So I put on a tank top. Forty-five minutes later, my make-ups done and everything. I take one step outside, and I’m like melting. I look down, and there are SIX mosquitoes on my legs within a minute. So I ran, to shake them off, and I get down to “Heath’s” house. My mother says his name must be in quotation marks, because he is HEATH. I used to like him when I lived here, and I must tell you he’s gotten really freaking buff. He’s hot, in short. So he’s outside mowing his lawn, and I waved. Why I waved, I have no idea. He waved back, turned the mow-y thingy off and walked over. He’s all, “Are you new here?” and I’m all, “Nope. It’s Sydney, remember?” and he’s like, “Sydney…?” and I’m like, “Sydney Blair, from second grade?” and he’s like, “Oh! SYDNEY! I’ve missed you!” and then he hugged me, with all his sweaty man muscles. So then we talked a bit about how North Carolina was and how all of my old friends are and blah blah blah. Then he’s all, “I should probably get back to the lawn and stuff, my dad’ll get mad if I take forever cause I was talking to a girl. You know how he is.” Cause Heath’s dad is like, really anti-social, and thinks that everyone else should be, too. He hates girls, especially- except for his wife. Just around Heath. So he has to deal with a LOT of teenage girls. Heath was cute when he was younger, so all of the girls liked him then, too. So I was all, “Yeah, I remember. –laugh- I’ll be in town for a few days, maybe I’ll see you around?” and he was all, “Yeah, sure. Just drop by whenever you want- don’t be scared of the old man. He liked you better than the other girls, anyway.” Like he’d actually remember me. But still. I was at his house a lot, since it took like two minutes to walk there. One if you run, like I did. He’s right around the corner. Like, one house away from mine- but there’s the curve, so it’s a little longer than just walking past one driveway. It’s like two houses if there was no curve. SO. I was like, “I’ll make sure to come see you again before I leave, maybe we can go to the pool or something.” And then he was all, “Yeah, sure. See ya.” And then he hugged me again, and I waved and walked back home. When I got back I was like, melting. I was sweating through my make-up, of course. Then I washed some window and cleared away some cobwebs, and sat down to play with my phone and post on facebook and stuff.
Trixie went all vicious on Brownie and like, ate him.
So, Lane’s been voted off the island to stay with my half-brother and his wife, Trixie went all cannibal on Brownie, and I’m pretty much going through withdrawal.
Just so you know, I type my blog throughout the day, as things happen. So if I go from angry to totally happy, that’s why. I’m not just super bipolar or something.
My half-brother and his wife came over today, they’re AWESOME. I’ve missed ‘em lots. Ali’s really cool, she’s amazing. Then Russell’s my brother, the dude with the foot long curly beard and like a million tattoos. We gave then a baby grand piano, and made Ali cry. I took like 17 fuzzy pictures of them, and my dad got it right on the first try xD I pocket dialed grandma while I was taking a picture, and I heard the ring, so I stopped it and put it on lock. Then while I’m trying again, I hear, “Hello? Helloooo? Sydney?” and I’m just like, “….Grandma?” and I can hear her on speaker from my pocket xD It was pretty funny.
So now I’m in starbucks, the land of wonders. YESSSS!
Other stuff:
So mosquitoes have devoured my legs. The bottom floor of the house is freezing, and the top is burning. It’s like passing through a wall when you get to the middle of the stairs- it just hits you.
I’m sleeping on a cot downstairs. I slept with three blankets and the big hoodie that I got for graduation from my teachers, And I was STILL cold. And there’s this weird fish, a barracuda I think, that’s like giant and its eyes are huge and it stares at you. And its eyes glow in the dark. Creepy, much?
We found a good radio station, though. I was gonna go on Pandora or that Slacker radio thing, but then I was all, “Oh, WAIT. We have no internet. Lovely.”
And there are spiders everywhere! They’re big, too.
It’s kind of creepy walking into a house that hasn’t been entered in three years. There were cobwebs everywhere, it smelled HORRIBLE, and it was really dark- night time and no electricity.
So my dad fixed that, and now we have light and water and stuff. And we’re all afraid to go to the bathroom cause there’s this GIANT spider, like the size of my hand, that’s got it’s web right over the toilet bowl. Yeah. He’s very cozy, too, and doesn’t feel like moving any time soon. I’ve named him Alfredo. So we have to use the one upstairs, where there are like mosquitoes galore, and it’s really hot. There are spiders up there, too, but not as many and they’re not as big.
So that’s it for today. Buh-bye. <3

So, I’ll probably be complaining a lot. Be prepared.
We left for Atlanta at like 2 P.M. We got lost like three times.
So we’re almost home, and my dad asks where we want to eat dinner. We’re all tired so we opt for fast food. I see a sonic, and I kind of screamed. Just a little. I’ve never eaten at a sonic, and I’ve always wanted to. The commercials just make it look so cool :P So we missed it, but my dad said there was another one closer to the house. So we drive for like an hour, of course we got lost, and then we get to the sonic. It’s closed.
What kind of horrible person would close a SONIC?! With all of their wonderful, magical secrets and mysterious ways… Those monsters.
So, we got Chick-Fil-A. I ordered a small vanilla ice cream cone, since I was hot and tired and just wanted ice cream. So he goes, “Cup?” and I go, “No thanks, a cone please.” And he goes, “You mean a CUP?” and I go, “Um, a cone? Like… -insert cone shape made with hands thing here-“ and he goes, “So… a CUP.” And I go, “You know what… Sure. A cup. Thanks.”
I can’t eat a cup. I like the Chick-Fil-A CONES, thank you very much.
Now we’re home, after more being lost. The minute we get out of the car, like three bugs bite me. And Atlanta is pretty much the most humid place you could ever be. So my hair frizzes like crazy, and this neighbor lady comes over and is all, “OHMYGOOOODNESSSS! It’s the Bla-yurrs!!”
And her dog pretty much attacks me and makes me spill my sprite. Then I go inside, since the dogs are whining for water, and I get a bowl out. Of course, the water won’t turn on. So I go outside to the drink cooler and take all of the soda out, get some of the melted ice water, and try to get back inside. The dog makes me spill half of that, too. So I get inside, and guess what? The water’s on. Apparently it had all been coming out where the washer and drier used to be, and was just spilling out of the wall into a puddle on the floor. So then the lights wouldn’t turn out, our dogs got out and almost got eaten by the bigger dog, etc. And there are so many SPIDERS! I’m going to be eaten in my sleep, I swear. Those things could swallow me in one bite.
So, on to un-Atlanta related issues:

One word- UGH.
Yeah, that pretty much describes my life right now.
Problem one: My ex has returned from the deep dark pits of my past. Again. I’m just not even going there… He always ends up sucking me back in, and then randomly leaving me. Always. And he uses his medical problems as an excuse. I know that he has problems with his heart, and he’s in the hospital a lot. That doesn’t give him the right to use me, and to pretend like he cares when he wants to and just drop me when he’s tired of playing with me.
Problem two: The usual guy problem. I like him, he doesn’t like me. And I don’t know what to do about it. There’s more stuff going on than I can tell you- or anyone else, for that matter. A few delicate little secrets that would ruin my whole little intricate web here if I told anyone.
Problem three: Going through some confusing stuff with a friend of mine. I kind of think they like me, but I don’t know. I honestly have no clue. They act like they don’t and say they don’t, then suddenly they’re hinting at it. Then they’re ignoring me. What the heck? Then there are a few more little things that, again, I can’t talk about.
I may not know anyone that’s reading this [but one], but I’m still going to keep other people’s business private, since I have no right to talk about their personal lives.
There’s more, but I don’t feel like talking about it right now. All in all, I’m totally confused and depressed and I have no idea what’s really going on right now. If I could explain everything to you, it would make more sense.
So, I’m in Atlanta.
And I’m sad.
And I have no internet.
And I can’t even post this as I write it, I have to post it in the morning, or whenever someone takes me somewhere with internet. And I’m probably not going to make it through the night. I’ll be in some spiders belly. And he’ll be all, “Ughh, I probably shouldn’t have eaten her shoe. I could’ve shaken it off… It’s giving me digestion problems.” Rubbing his big spider belly with his leg thing… >:(

Hellooo.
So, I saw Date Night today with some friends. Pretty hilarious- Especially the bloopers and crap at the end. Whatever that was. “Work that pole like a Russian immigrant!” Me, Kim, and two of our guy friends went. We all sat on a couch thing, even though the guy friends left us anyway. So it was pretty much Kim and I throughout the whole movie.
Afterwards, when the guys had left, Kim and I were standing outside. And she poked me, and I snorted. It was hilarious- I NEVER snort. My mom does, though. It was loud, too, and it scared the heck out of Kim. She fell over- whether out of surprise or extreme laughter, I do not know.
Found a new ringtone! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNJGAwqV0ys&feature=related I love it. My mom thinks it’s creepy, but whatever.
Cause two can keep a secret if one of them is dead. <3
And, apparently I get to hold the barfing dog all the way to Atlanta. SEVEN HOURS. Ewww. D: So, tomorrow I’m off to a house devoid of human life. I must’ve shot some important dude in a past life.
Kind of upset, guy situation is still getting worse. Don’t know what to do, really. I mean, I’m not a horrible person, I don’t think. And I don’t really think I’m that pretty, but at least I’m not horrendously ugly… I don’t think. Gah. Oh well.
I’m running out of gummm. Argh. That’s like, what I live off of now. My parents refuse to buy healthy stuff, so I’m pretty much not eating. We have apples, so I eat those in the morning. But that’s about it. Unless I can find something other than that that isn’t pure lard and grease.
And nobody will buy me apple juice! That’s pretty much all I drink. I don’t like water, and milk tastes weird unless it’s in cereal. I don’t like tea or coffee, and we never have soda- if we do, it’s pepsi, and I don’t like pepsi. So I’ve been drinking lemonade, which I really don’t like, either.
Gonna stop complaining now.
Apparently at 3:30 AM I was rolling on my laptop and typing uppercase L’s. So I totally spammed my ex’s AIM with LLLLLLLL. Made me laugh when I woke up :PSo that’s pretty much it. Toodaloo <3

Hello people of the blogging variety :] Good morning/day/afternoon/evening/night. Whatever time it is there. Even though good night doesn’t make much sense, since it’s supposed to be a greeting, not a farewell. Oh well, deal with it.
So, here’s how my day went: I woke up at 7 AM, which is pretty normal for me. I don’t sleep much. I usually go to bed really late and wake up really early, and end up with 2-5 hours of sleep.
Anyway. I laid there for like an hour, then finally got up. Had grapes for breakfast, again. My parents don’t really buy breakfast food, so I eat fruit, since it’s healthier and better than most of the other stuff we have.
I wasted like an hour getting ready to go out with my friends, cause I was doing my makeup, then I realized, “Oh. We’re going to the pool. With water. Ughh.” So I had to take it all off so that it didn’t like, drip down my face in the pool. Icckk. x_x I was actually like five minutes late to the pool, but I was sitting there alone for half an hour. I didn’t even go in the water- Andrea [a good friend] and I were discussing guy issues the whole time. So then we went uptown and did tons of crap. Long story short: My day was great, then it sucked, then it was okay again. I’m allowed to be moody- I have an excuse. I can’t tell you what it is, but it’s a really good one.
So, I got home like 45 minutes ago. It’s Steve’s birthday, so he’s gonna go play pool. I’m being forced to do something tomorrow, though I don’t really know what. Hopefully there’ll be a bunch of people there, whatever we do. I wanna get in as much people time as I can before I leave for Atlanta.
I have totally mixed feelings about leaving. Sometimes I wanna be miles and miles away from my town and the people in it, and other times I wouldn’t leave for the world. Right now I’m just kind of indifferent. There’s some pretty confusing crap going on right now. Looots of drama. And it involves a bunch of my friends, so I have no escape. Cause if they’re not involved in it, they know about it and are talking about it.
Oh, and the guy situation has gotten worse. Definitely. But I can’t tell you anything about it.
So, I’m just going to eat my pizza and wonder why the teenage years have to be so horrible and confusing, but great at the same time.
Other stuff:
Feeling kind of bad, cause I kind of lied to Emma [A reeeally close friend of mine]. Not completely, but enough. She asked about something specific, though she was in the right area. Ackk. But if I told her the truth I think she’d eat me alive and cart me away to see the men in white coats. :c Oh well.
New layout. It’s vector art. I make stuff like that sometimes, so I thought it might be cool. Mine wouldn’t look as good as this does, since I’m not too great at figuring out the whole bevel/depth and shine thing. Other than that, that’s what I do sometimes. :P That and editing pictures of people.
I’ve been listening to tons of Paramore, and this one song by Colbie Callet. However you spell that girls name. Apparently my phone ring tone isn’t good enough, so I have to pick another one. Ackk. I liked it… I almost set it to the prelude to Bach’s cello suite no. 5, but Airplanes seemed a bit more normal. Heh.
Oh, and my hair was HORRIBLE today. I didn’t realize it was so curly. When I left the house, it was just kind of wavy. Then it turned into like, full out curls on the bottom. Uchh. I hate it like that, even though my friends tell me it looks good. I dunno.
The guy that works at the place we ate at was totally creeping on me. He was all, “Hello, young lady, how are you? It’s nice to see you have returned.” And then when I left he was all, “ Thank you for coming miss, you come again soon now.” But it wasn’t like a polite thing, it was like a creepy I’m-going-to-molest-you thing.
Well. That’s about it. :] So, have a nice day/morning/evening/afternoon/night. <33

Sleeping in jeans is totally uncomfortable. Apparently I fell asleep in what I was wearing yesterday, which I never do. I like my fuzzy PJs, thank you very much.
Then I got my camera and went for a walk. Really glad I didn’t run into anyone I know, since I barely had enough energy to brush my hair, and I didn’t straighten it at all so it’s all curly. And I was wearing my giant sunglasses. Hah. Anyway, I got a bunch of really pretty pictures of the flowers and plants and what not. The clouds looked really cool today, so I have a bunch of pictures of those. I walked down to a little past the sign for my neighborhood, then back to my house. I walked for like 45 minutes in the other direction, no clue where I went, then back. It was really nice out today, I’m gonna start walking more often.
When I got home I had some grapes for breakfast, even though it was like, past lunchtime for most people. I found two reeeeally weird grapes- I call them pumpkin grapes.

My dad and brother are at work, thank God. The weekends are horrible cause everyone’s home and my parents fight and my brother does stupid stuff. I’m terrified they’re gonna get divorced. We barely function when they’re together, if they separated we’d all die. My dad’s nice to me, but my mom’s more bearable. Eh. I don’t know.
Been bored as heck all day. Getting text messages from people I don’t want to talk to, not getting text messages from the people I actually do want to talk to.
Going to Atlanta for half a week actually isn’t looking as horrible now. I feel like I’ve screwed something up with my friends, even though I don’t know what. I just feel kind of guilty. And there’s so much that I want to say to certain people, but can’t cause it would ruin the entire summer. The last week was amazing, and I want everything to stay that way for once. Hopefully it will.
Well, I’ve been sitting on my couch for hours and I’m feeling kind of bad about it so I think I’m gonna go do something. Might go for a walk. Wish I had someone to walk with; it gets kind of boring alone. Oh well. I’ll probably put up some of the pictures I took this morning tomorrow or sometime this week, I don’t feel like shrinking them all now.
Toodles.

Kay. So, new blog. Not gonna bother with the old one anymore, it was getting annoying. I've just been thinking, while talking to a friend of mine for a while.
I've been wondering why I get so depressed when I'm alone, and I think I finally get it.
I'm so much more normal when I'm alone, too.
When I'm alone, I think. About my life, the people in it, and what's happening. When I'm with people, I don't think at all. I just talk. I don't remember half of what I say, and I don't control it. It's like my mind's finally quiet, and I don't have to worry about anything.
When I'm at home, sitting in my room, I think about my parents, their fighting, and all of the crap my brother does. Everything. You're most likely to have a real conversation with me when I'm depressed.
Oh, and the guy I like totally doesn't like me. At all. I'm a good friend, but nothing more. And my best friend won't shut up. Doesn't she get that I don't want to talk? I finally told her I had to go and that I couldn't talk anymore. I hate lying to people, but I felt it was necessary. I was afraid I was gonna yell at her or something, which is pretty out of character for me. I don't get angry at people, or at least I don't show it. So they never even know they've upset me. Unless they did something really horrible, in which case I forgive them in a day or two. There are certain people that I would never let see me angry, though.
You wouldn't think that a person like me would be self-concious, but I really am. More than you could ever know. After everything that I say or type or text, I get really nervous that I've said something wrong or that I'll get a bad reaction or that I'll upset someone. I hate it when people get angry with me- I expect to be yelled at mercilessly or hit or something. Of course, that doesn't happen. I get the silent treatment. Sometimes I wish people would do what I expect for once. I honestly don't mind pain, it's kind of a reminder that life isn't a fairy tale and that this is all real and that I better not screw it up.
Anyway.
This is mainly going to be me ranting.
There's so much that I want to talk about, but none of my friends want to listen. I don't have anyone to talk about my problems with, really. My best friends don't really care, and with anyone else it would be awkward. I usually get a "Oh, that's awful. So, how was your day?" or something like that from my besties. Oh well.
So this is probably not going to be terribly exciting.