The Mad House

Just got home. Went out with a bunch of friends today, it was pretty fun. Then I get home and it’s ruined, of course. Okay, it was ruined when I got in the car. Lane was there, and he was just being a jerk like he always is. Lane’s my brother, btw. Then I get home and my friend India tells me my friend Emma sent her one of my poems. One of the more personal ones, that I didn’t really want her to share. Wtf? She didn’t even ask. Ughh. So, now I’m mad at her again. And she did it because she thinks there’s something wrong with me! I wrote that a LONG time ago, and I just found it and sent it to her like I did a bunch of others. Yeah, I get depressed- Doesn’t everybody? I guess I do more than most, but it’s not dangerous or anything. I don’t really care- I read or draw or do something and I’m fine. As long as people don’t bother me. There’s only one time when I tried to commit suicide, about a year ago, and that definitely failed. I still have the scar on my wrist, the only one that never went away. It sticks out from my skin and it’s really white, so I never forget. Other than that, I’m fine. I don’t like it when people worry about me, it makes me feel guilty, like I’m not worth worrying about or something and they should stop wasting their time. I guess I’m just as bad as my friend is with the whole self esteem thing. I just don’t like myself.
So. Other stuff:
Talked with Vince last night. He replied an hour after I originally messaged him, but that’s okay.
A LOT of people asked me if I was okay last night… Didn’t know that many people cared. Even people I don’t talk to much. Just cause of my FaceBook status… It was nice talking to some people, though. Others I just wanted to go away. Hah. Oh well. :P Emma and I... I don’t really know whats going on with us. I did some really stupid things last night, though. Ehh, it’ll go away, I hope. So for now I’m okay.
Kind of.
Driving test in five days, kind of nervous about that.
Umm… I guess that’s it? Sorry for all of the angry-ness. I let very few people read my poetry, and I like it that way.